When the Voices Started: The Devil’s Attack, God’s Truth, and the Lie I Had to Unlearn

I didn’t start seeing anything at first.

It was the voices that came first. Not the voice of God. Not the voice of truth. These were the kind of voices that accuse, twist, confuse. I couldn’t always place where they were coming from—inside, outside, everywhere and nowhere at once. It was torment. It was fear. It was loud.

I wasn’t living in sin. I wasn’t dabbling in darkness. I loved Jesus. I was seeking Him. But what I was experiencing didn’t line up with peace. It didn’t line up with God’s character. Eventually, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. And in that moment, it felt like everything I knew about God, about myself, and about truth was suddenly on trial.

What Pastor Daryl Told Me

When I opened up to Pastor Daryl, he didn’t dismiss it or downplay it. After hearing everything I was going through, he said:

“I believe what you’re dealing with is from the devil.”

He also told me something else: he believes God is sovereign. He believes God is in control. That nothing surprises Him, and that He sees all things.

But even with that belief, he made it clear that what I was going through wasn’t from God. It wasn’t something God gave me. It wasn’t some mysterious lesson or holy suffering. It was the enemy—coming after my mind, my calling, my identity.

And that’s where the tension hit me:

If God is good, and He’s in control, why was this happening?

Was He allowing this to happen to me?

Was this His way of refining me?

I Don’t Believe God “Allows” It Anymore

I’ve heard it all my life:

“God allows everything for a reason.”

“It’s all part of His plan.”

But I just don’t believe that anymore.

Why? Because that theology made me passive. It made me accept torment like it was part of my sanctification. It caused me to submit to the very thing Jesus died to set me free from.

And that’s not the Gospel.

The Bible Paints a Different Picture

Jesus said this clearly in John 10:10:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”

That verse is everything. It draws a clear line.

• If it steals, kills, or destroys—it’s the thief.

• If it gives life—it’s Jesus.

There’s no overlap. Jesus never handed someone over to demons to humble them. He never said, “This mental torment is part of your journey.” He cast them out. He healed. He restored.

Hebrews 1:3 says Jesus is the exact representation of God’s nature.

If you can’t imagine Jesus doing it, don’t accuse the Father of it.

Andrew Wommack Gave Me the Language

When I first heard Andrew Wommack teach on sovereignty, it was like everything inside me stood up and said, “Yes. That’s it.”

He teaches that God is sovereign—but not controlling.

“God doesn’t make everything happen. He gave us authority. And not everything that happens is His will.” – Andrew Wommack

The Bible proves this too. 2 Peter 3:9 says:

“The Lord is… not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

But we know people still perish.

Why? Because God’s will doesn’t automatically happen. He gave mankind dominion (Genesis 1:26). He gave us authority (Luke 10:19). We have the power to resist the devil (James 4:7)—but most of us never do because we’ve been taught that maybe God’s “letting it happen.”

That Belief Almost Kept Me in Chains

I used to think my torment was a test. That God was letting it happen to make me stronger. That maybe the diagnosis was my “thorn in the flesh” to keep me humble.

But let me be clear:

“You can’t resist the devil if you think it’s God doing it.”

— Andrew Wommack

That one sentence opened my eyes.

I realized I had been agreeing with the enemy out of bad theology. I thought surrendering to torment was spiritual. I thought bearing it quietly was holiness.

But Jesus didn’t model that. He didn’t surrender to the devil—He crushed him.

God Didn’t Allow It—He Rescued Me From It

Isaiah 54:17 says:

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn.”

That doesn’t say the weapon won’t be formed—it says it won’t win.

The enemy formed a weapon against me. He came after my mind. He tried to drown me in confusion and fear. But God didn’t sit back and “allow” it. He pulled me out. He fought with me. He gave me truth, gave me people, gave me spiritual authority.

And I’ve come to see that my battle wasn’t the Father’s doing—it was the devil’s, and it failed.

Final Word: Stop Blaming God for What He Died to Defeat

So yeah—Pastor Daryl believed it was from the devil. And he was right.

But where I part ways with a lot of church thinking is this:

I don’t believe God allowed it. I believe God hated it.

I believe the moment it started, He was already working to bring me out.

And He did.

Now I know who He is. I know how to fight. I know what His voice sounds like. And I know the difference between the Shepherd’s voice and the accuser’s.

Jesus didn’t call torment holy. He called it bondage.

And He came to set captives free.

Just let me know what you’d like next!