When Love is Still Being Worked Out

Romans 12:9 says, “Let love (ἀγάπη) be without hypocrisy.” Notice Paul doesn’t say, “Once you’ve perfected it, then love.” He writes this as a present command: right now, in the middle of our weakness and unfinished transformation, our love must still be genuine.

For pastors and leaders, this lands heavy. You’re called to proclaim love, but what if you’re still learning to let that agápē flow without pretense? Does that make you unfit? Not necessarily. The difference is this:

• Hypocrisy is when we put on a mask, pretending we’ve mastered something while living the opposite.

• Humility is when we preach the truth, while openly admitting we are still being shaped by it.

Paul himself confessed in Philippians 3:12, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on…” If the apostle who penned the great hymn of love in 1 Corinthians 13 could admit he hadn’t “arrived,” then pastors today shouldn’t shrink back from preaching love simply because they’re still being formed by it.

Love Tested in Correction

Here’s where it gets real: when we correct someone, our ability to let agápē remain genuine is tested most fiercely. The enemy loves to twist these moments. Instead of loving correction, anger can flare. Instead of building up, pride can push down.

Paul warns that we should “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). But that’s not easy when you’re face-to-face with someone stuck in sin, rebellion, or stubbornness. It’s like trying to lift someone out of a mud pit:

• If you’re not careful, in pulling them out, they can drag you in with them.

• But there’s also another possibility — two people in the mud, struggling together, and by God’s grace finding a way to rise out.

The point is, correction without genuine love either gets us dirty with the same spirit we’re resisting, or leaves us standing above others in pride. Only agápē — sacrificial, patient, Christlike love — gives us the strength to reach down without being pulled under.

Love That Clings to the Good

Romans 12:9 continues: “Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.” That word “cling” (κολλώμενοι, kollōmenoi) means to glue yourself to good. Why? Because evil has a pull like mud. Without intentional clinging, correction can turn into criticism, and exhortation into condemnation.

And then Paul adds in verse 10: “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” The safest guard against being dragged into the mud is to anchor yourself in honor — to see even the struggling brother or sister as worthy of dignity.

Living It Out as a Pastor

So what does this mean for a pastor who’s still “working out” genuine love? It means preaching love honestly, as someone in process. It means admitting, “This is hard for me too, but God is teaching me.” It means extending correction carefully, remembering that love isn’t about winning arguments but rescuing people.

True leadership is not the absence of weakness — it’s the presence of Christ’s strength in weakness. Pastors who let their flock see both truth and humanity end up modeling the very agápē Paul describes: sincere, tested, and free of hypocrisy.