The Restoration of Tenderness: Beyond Normal, Into the Father’s Plan

There’s a story tucked into the final chapter of John’s Gospel that hits close to home. The disciples, after walking with Jesus, witnessing His death, and even seeing Him risen, find themselves back at the Sea of Galilee. And what do they do? They go fishing.

Back to normal.

Back to the familiar.

Back to the nets Jesus once called them to leave behind.

It’s not hard to understand. When life feels uncertain, when God’s plan feels blurry, when disappointment creeps in, the pull of “normal” is strong. But in John 21, Jesus doesn’t leave His disciples in that place. He restores them—through a meal, through a fire, through words that bring Peter back into his calling.

The message is clear: don’t go back to normal when God has already called you forward.

Normal Isn’t the Goal

Normal feels safe. Normal feels predictable. But normal won’t transform the world.

The danger for every believer is to reduce life with God down to religious habits and comfortable routines—while avoiding the risk of obedience. Yet when Jesus shows up at the shore, He makes it clear: the old nets won’t satisfy. “Children, have you any meat?” He asks. And the answer is no.

Outside of His plan, the nets always come up empty.

Striving vs. Tenderness

Here’s where Damon Thompson’s message resonates deeply: the answer is not striving. Many of us, once we hear God’s call again, rush to perform, to prove, to push ourselves into obedience. But striving only produces exhaustion.

The way forward is through tenderness.

Tenderness means staying soft before God—letting His love disarm our defenses, heal our wounds, and quiet our need to control. Ministry, responsibility, even the grind of everyday life can harden us. But when we live from beloved identity—knowing we are fully loved sons and daughters—that hardness begins to melt.

As Damon says, “Ministry will try to make you hard. But beloved identity will make you tender.”

Fascination Over Determination

Determination has its place, but it eventually burns out. Fascination, on the other hand, fuels intimacy. When I am fascinated with Jesus—captivated by His beauty, His mercy, His presence—I don’t have to force myself to follow Him. Love does the work.

This is why Jesus restores Peter not by demanding more effort but by asking, “Do you love Me?” Tenderness and love become the fuel for mission.

About My Father’s Work

Even as a young boy, Jesus declared, “Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?” (Luke 2:49). Notice—He didn’t say He was about His own ambitions or driven by pressure. He was simply aligned with the Father’s plan.

This is what the restoration of tenderness leads us into. Not a return to “normal life” that feels safe but fruitless. Not a life of endless striving that wears us out. But a steady, Spirit-led walk in the Father’s plan, marked by softness of heart and closeness to Him.

How Tenderness Shapes Us

1. Tenderness toward God

   
   

   • When we approach Him in awe, wonder, and intimacy, we stop treating prayer like a duty and rediscover it as communion.

   • A tender heart allows us to hear His whispers, not just His shouts.

   
   

2. Tenderness toward ourselves

   
   

   • We’re often our own harshest critics. Tenderness means embracing God’s grace for us personally, refusing shame, and letting His love wash over us.

   
   

3. Tenderness toward others

   
   

   • Hardness breaks relationships; tenderness heals them.

   • In a harsh world, choosing gentleness is a prophetic witness to the love of Christ.

   
   

Walking This Out

• Resist the drift to “normal.” When things get tough, ask yourself: Am I running back to comfort, or pressing into calling?

• Pause striving. If your walk with God feels like constant effort with no rest, step back. Ask Him to restore tenderness.

• Choose fascination. Spend time in worship, prayer, or simply stillness—not trying to accomplish anything, but letting your heart burn with wonder again.

• Embrace identity. Remember: you are not defined by what you do, but by who you are—His beloved child.

Conclusion

The restoration of tenderness is not a side note—it’s the very heart of walking with Jesus. In a world that equates strength with hardness, He calls us to a different kind of strength: the strength of tenderness, rooted in beloved identity.

So let’s not go back to normal. Let’s not chase striving. Instead, let His tenderness rub off on us until we, like Jesus, can say with peace and confidence:

“I’m about my Father’s work.”

this was inspired by Damon Thompson message called “The Restoration of Tenderness “