Bleeding Light: When Your Battle Becomes Your Witness

Scripture says you are a city on a hill that cannot be hidden (Matthew 5:14). If you’ve accepted Christ, there is a light inside of you. There’s a children’s song that says, “Hide it under a bushel? No! I’m gonna let it shine.” But what are we doing with our light? Are we letting it shine? Are we hiding it? Are we only letting part of it out—or worse, are we changing the nature of the light altogether, like covering it with filters that dim what God put inside?

The Word says if you are lukewarm, He will spit you out of His mouth (Revelation 3:16). Another passage says we reflect His glory like mirrors (2 Corinthians 3:18), but I believe He’s planted something deeper within us—a seed, a deposit, a spark of Himself. That seed grows as we yield, as we’re changed from glory to glory into the image of Christ. I’ve seen this in my own life. When you’ve been through affliction—mental battles, fear, even diagnoses that try to define you—you learn that the flame still lives under the ashes. You learn how to bleed purple and shine anyway.

Paul told Timothy to fan into flame the gift of God given through the laying on of hands (2 Timothy 1:6). We’re also told to work out our salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12). We’ve got a part to play. Faith without works is dead (James 2:17). Where’s the fruit? We’re told to examine ourselves and each other by it (Matthew 7:16). The world’s watching. They need to see a real witness of Christ—not just words but power, not just image but presence. For me, that meant pushing through the voices in my head, pushing past the fear, and believing that God could still use me in ministry, even with a past, even with scars.

Some believers don’t have fresh testimonies, or they stay inside the walls of church. But a dead tree doesn’t bear fruit—and the amazing thing is, God still revives trees. He still reignites fire. I don’t have a perfect testimony, but I have one that’s alive. As I yield, I’m becoming more like Christ.

I’ve learned faith doesn’t grow just by staying safe. I’ve seen it in others too. It starts small and grows strong in awkward places. Sometimes you have to look foolish first. Someone once said, “Why reach out now when you could wait and hit a home run?” They were talking about evangelism. But that’s pride. That’s fear. And I’ve faced both. I’ve felt the fear of man. I’ve felt like I needed to wait for a sign, or a feeling, or the right mental state. But Scripture never says to wait for the perfect moment. It says to be filled with power and go (Luke 24:49).

That power is tied to prayer. Cultivating a prayer life is how I broke through a lot of internal battles. You can receive the fire, but what you do with it matters. A hidden light helps no one. A covered fire doesn’t warm a cold world. Don’t be a pointless Christian. You have purpose. You were born to shine, even when your story is messy, even when your mind has wrestled with lies. In my book Bleeding Purple, I share how the battle in my mind almost made me believe I had no light. But Christ didn’t just restore me—He gave me vision.

The more you step out, the more you’ll see opportunities—divine appointments—to bring that light into someone’s darkness. And it won’t be perfect, but it will be real. I’ve heard people say they don’t want to reach heaven’s gates only to say, “Well, I went to church.” But that’s not the point. The fivefold ministry is to equip you for the work of ministry (Ephesians 4:11–12). All of us are in ministry, regardless of personality, past, or mental struggle.

I was naturally shy. Quiet. Introverted. But God gave me boldness. And if you need boldness, I’m praying for you. That’s a biblical prayer (Acts 4:29). Do your friends know you follow Christ—not just by what you say, but by how you live? Please let it be more than talk. Let there be fruit—love, patience, kindness, and all the rest (Galatians 5:22–23).

If you don’t feel like shining, you’re not alone. The flesh resists the Spirit (Galatians 5:17). But you’ll grow. That inner man will get stronger. That seer part of you—what God gave you to discern, to see, to sense in the Spirit—it will rise up. That wolf inside, the spirit-man, will overcome the flesh-wolf more and more. So shine your light. Speak to someone today about Christ. Scripture says to be ready to give an answer for the hope within you (1 Peter 3:15). Say “Jesus loves you” to someone. Tell your story. I’m praying for you—because you’re a laborer in the harvest. And the field is ready.